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Well hello there! I’m Mary. 

 

Launch copywriter. Digital nomad. Vegan Ben & Jerry’s addict. 

Pleased to meet ya! Soooo I guess this is the part where I’m supposed to talk about myself…Alright, alright. We’ll get there. But first, let’s talk about YOU a bit more.

You’re here because…

✔️ Your last launch went okay, but you know you could bring in WAY more sales…and your yawn-inducing copy is largely to blame.
✔️ You want copy that puts a big fat SMILE on your prospects’ faces (and doesn’t rely on the same overused jargon that every other brand uses).
✔️ You’re ready to work with a copy expert that actually knows what she’s doing.

Oh hi! I can help you with all that (this is the part where we shake hands and I give you my elevator pitch…)

I write personality-packed conversion copy for online course-creators and coaches who aren’t afraid to be different. 

Copy that relies on research, voice-of-customer data, formulas, and psychology to get people to take action.

Copy that turns passive onlookers into hungry buyers.

Copy that helps people like you sell out their launches and thicken their wallets.

Andddd here’s where I snap my fingers and produce killer sales copy (tah dah!)

Kidding. Unfortunately I don’t have a copywriting superpower.

But if we work together, I WILL delve Challenger-Deep until I know your brand and customers inside and out (and am able to get inside their heads, think like them, and speak their lingo). Then I’ll craft exploding-with-personality copy (that skips the clichés and eye-glazing words).

But not just any ol’ “let’s throw it at a wall and see what sticks” type of copy…

…Copy that WORKS. Because it…

+ Speaks your customers’ language (uses the words that THEY use)

+ Responds to your prospects’ deepest fears and desires

+ Is based on psychology, data and proven formulas

Now that’s kinda like a superpower, right?

11 (other) things about me (and why you should care)

1. I’m good at making a case  

For a while, I seriously pondered the idea of law school. I even interned at the Legal Aid Society in NYC the summer after my freshman year of college.

I thought of becoming a criminal defense attorney. ‘Cause nothing gets me more riled up than injustice. Plus, I’ve always been pretty good at making a case (or so I’ve been told).  

And I’d just loveeee to make an uber-convincing case for YOU and your product (so long as you sell something amazing that truly makes your customers’ lives better). 

2. I’m also good at communicating (I’ve even got a Master’s in it) 

So I didn’t go to law school in the end. But I did get my Master’s in Global Communications from the American University of Paris. 

And no…I’m not saying that to show off some fancy schmancy degree (that, let’s be honest, nobody really cares about).

My point is this: I KNOW how to communicate (let’s hope so anyway or that communications degree was a whole lot of money down the drain).

In other words, no flakiness or disappearing acts here.

3. Work + travel is my jam

Been working and traveling around the world for the past 4 years (so whatever time zone you’re in, I can adapt. Easy peasy). 

4. I hate the status quo 

I don’t believe that I *need* to have three kids and a white-picket fence to be happy. I like to work with entrepreneurs that share my open-minded spirit and aren’t afraid of being different.

So if we work together, you’ll get go-against-the-grain copy that stands out from the sea of sameness. 

5. I’ve got 4 years of marketing experience under my belt 

Before venturing out on my own, I worked for nearly 4 years in content marketing/copywriting for a U.S. digital agency. In other words, I’m not a writer turned copywriter. I’m a *marketer* turned copywriter.

Which brings me to my next point…

6. I LOVE learning about the inner workings of the human brain and what makes people tick

Hell, I’ve even written about it: 

11 psychological tactics you should use in your copywriting to get your readers to take action

So (at the risk of sounding like a broken record) you’ll get psychology-based copy that (yup, you guessed it) SELLS.

7. I’m *too* honest for interviews 

Lemme give you an example…

Years ago, I thought I wanted to work in the film industry (doesn’t everyone change their minds about careers like seven times? Or was that just me?). 

I got invited to a second in-person interview by one of the top talent agencies, United Talent Agency. Sooo I packed my bags and flew out to Los Angeles (all the way from South Florida).

Interview day comes and I’m nervous. Like…really nervous. I had read about how the head of HR (let’s call him John) was a brutal interviewer.

But after I met John and we started talking, I started to relax a bit. This wasn’t so bad.

Conversation was flowing. All was going well (or so I thought). Until the end of the interview when John asked me some cliched interview question that I honestly don’t even remember.

My response? I talked about my experience doing tongue therapy as a teenager.

Yes, you read that right: TONGUE THERAPY. Of all things.

Needless to say, I did NOT make it to the next round of interviews. And so ended my career in the film industry.

JK. I did try it out for a few months until I quickly realized it wasn’t my cup of tea (as much fun as the idea of angry producers and talent agents cursing me out all day long sounded…).

TLDR; You’ll work with someone that’s GENUINE and honest to the core.

8. I’m brasileira no coraçao (Brazilian at heart) 

To this day, I’m obsessed with everything about Brazil (minus the corruption, violence and other not-so-fun stuff). 

No joke. I even had a blog titled apaisonadapelobrasil.com (inlovewithbrazil.com). 

You’ll probably only care about that if you’re Brazilian or you like Brazil too…But in case you DO care, here’s a photo of me in Bahia, Brazil for keepsakes:

Got wanderlust yet? K sorry. No more Brazil talk. 

9. I’m *always* learning 

No, for realz. To date, I’ve invested thousands of dollars and 100+ hours of my time in copywriting courses and masterminds–and I’ve got precisely 233 pages of course notes and five badges to prove it (#nerdalert). 

In addition to taking Grade A notes that would have made my middle school teachers oh-so proud, I’ve spent a lotta time studying what works (and what doesn’t). And getting my copy critiqued by expert copywriters

I’ve also spent far too many Saturdays reading (copywriting and psychology books…what else?).

So if we partner up, you’ll get to work with a copywriter who takes her job (and your ROI) seriously. And has been trained by the very best in the biz to make dead sure your investment pays off. 

10. When I go in, I go ALL in 

Meaning that if we work together, I’ll commit 110%. There’s a good chance that I’ll be thinking about your project while jogging, in the shower, at the grocery store…you get the idea.

Translation: No half-baked copy here.

11. I’m a bit of a perfectionist 

Actually scratch that…I’m a massive perfectionist (I should probs go to therapy for it). 

Case in point: I once had a client come to me for a project that I estimated would take 7-8 hours. I charged $600. 

In the end, the project took me OVER 20 HOURS, from start to finish. Woops. (Planning fallacy is real, folks).

Many other copywriters might have rushed through the project to get it done as soon as possible. Not me. Call me a slowpoke, but I believe in getting it done right—even if I end up making wayyy less money than predicted. 

You see, once I finish the first draft, I go through a (somewhat obsessive) merry-go-round of revisions.

First, I edit several times. I’ll go back to the copy the next day and optimize some more. Then I’ll sit on it for a few days…and with a fresh set of eyes, revisit the copy yet AGAIN.

I continue to do that until the copy meets my standards of perfection. Only then do I get off that merry-go-round and hand in my final draft.

So if you hire me, you’ll get your money’s worth…guaranteed.

But first…

Are we a match made in copy heaven?

Nope

Yup

👎You’re looking for the cheapest copywriter you can find.

If that’s the case, you’ll prolly have more luck on Upwork. But just remember: You get what you pay for.

👎You take weeks to respond.

I expect you to get back to me promptly. Otherwise, it’s next to impossible for me to do my job (sorry to be a meanie).  

👎You’re “too busy” to chat.

I’m gonna need to interview you (and ideally, your customers). So the “sorry I don’t have time” excuse ain’t gonna cut it.

👎You want to sound “professional” (aka stiff).

People like brands that they can relate to. Brands that are personable…human…different. Not ones that use fancy words, tired clichés and convoluted jargon.

👎You sell a product that I don’t believe in.

Heads up: I can’t help you if you promote things like plastic use or animal exploitation. #Sorrynotsorry

👍You know the importance of good copy—and are willing to invest in it.  

Smart thinking. You’ll save yourself a lotta frustration and hair-pulling moments down the road. 

👍You’re not a dilly-dallier.

It makes my job a gazillion times easier when I don’t have to hound you for a response or feedback.

👍You make yourself available. 

Raise your glass! We’re already THAT much closer to high-converting copy.

👍You’re ready to have a little fun with your copy. 

To speak like a human and show a little PERSONALITY.

👍You sell something that truly makes the world a better place.  

Liiiiikee a course that teaches people the ins and outs of permaculture or how to make mouth-watering vegan food. Or a yoga membership that helps restore balance in peoples’ lives.

So…ready to give your copy a shot of adrenaline

And start hypnotizing your prospects with MEMORABLE, data-driven copy that speaks their lingo…and makes the sale (over and over again)?

If so, let’s schedule a discovery call (promise I won’t talk about tongue therapy).